Dear Annie: My boyfriend and I have been together for six years now. Two years ago, I cheated on him, and he found out shortly after when he looked at my phone and saw that I was texting the other guy. At the time, I panicked and said that my best friend, “Deb,†had been using my phone. I then reached out to Deb and begged her to cover for me and lie if my boyfriend asked her about it. She did, and he bought the excuse. But a few weeks later, I confessed the truth to him, including the fact that Deb had covered up for me. We’ve been trying to work past this ever since. I feel awful about my infidelity. It has affected me in ways I never thought it would, just as I know it’s affected him very deeply, too. It worsened my depression and anxiety.

On top of the shame I feel for cheating, I have been unable to spend as much time as I’d like with Deb. My boyfriend wants nothing to do with her. Anytime she comes up in conversation, he says that she’s fake or a liar. He refuses to hang out with her. This woman has been my best friend for 23 years, and she’s very important to me. But he hates it when I spend time with her.

"Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie" is out now! Annie Lane's debut book — featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

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